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CHILDREN'S GROSS OUT RHYMES & SONGS
This page contains examples of children's rhymes
whose themes or words are disgusting, icky, gross, or yucky to grown-ups and
maybe to other children too. Unlike most children's rhymes presented on Cocojams,
these rhymes are often recited by children without any accompanying body
movements such as handclapping or jumping rope. A number of these rhymes are
parodies of other songs. Children might recite gross out rhymes just for
fun. They may also recite these types of rhymes in order to test the limits of
"societal correctness." And, it certainly appears that many adults have
fond memories of the gross out of rhymes & songs that they learned in their
childhood.
Cocojams provides opportunities to collect & preserve examples of these types of
children's rhymes and other types of children's rhymes for their entertainment
value. Cocojams also provides opportunities for you to share the English
language children's rhymes that you remember in the interest of folkloric
documentation & research.
click here to submit examples, comments
and/or questions to Cocojams about Children's Gross Out Rhymes & Songs
Because Cocojams is primarily a children centered
website, no examples will be
posted on this page that include profanity {"bad words"}. Selected examples
of children's rhymes that include violent language are included on this page.
However, in no way do persons affiliated with this website condone violence.
Examples are posted for their creative, folkloric value.
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Although it is not required, please include information about how this
rhyme is performed. Also, for the sake of folkloric research, please include the
following demographical information: where you learned the rhyme {please
include the city & state if within the USA, and the nation, if outside the USA};
when you learned this rhyme {year or decade such as 2008, the 1990s, or
the mid 1970s}; and who performed this rhyme {age, gender,
race/ethnicity}. Thanks!
I'm particularly interested in racial demographics for these rhymes because my
informal research of contemporary English language children's rhymes in the
United States suggests that gross out, yucky rhymes aren't as well known or
popular among African American children as they are among Anglo-American
children. I'm interesting in having more data on this theory.
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I reserve the right not to post examples of rhymes on this page that are
exactly the same as a previously posted example. I also reserve
the right not to post examples of rhymes that I feel don't meet the standards of
this website.
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Thanks to all who submit children's
gross out rhymes & songs to Cocojams!
Special thanks also to Joe Offer, chief moderator of Mudcat Cafe
http://www.mudcat.org/threads.cfm,
for permission to repost selected examples from guest posters or inactive
members of that forum.
Special thanks also to fellow members of Mudcat Cafe for permission to repost
selected examples that they had shared on that forum.
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Visit http://www.myspace.com/cocojams
to view selected videos and other information about children's playground rhymes
and songs. Join Cocojams' Myspace page while you're there!
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Examples of Children's Gross Out Rhymes & Songs:
A, B, C,
Auntie Mary Had A Canary
{Version #1}
To the tune of "Cock O' The North":-
Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers
When she farted it departed to the sound of great applause.
Cheers,
-Alan of Australia; 9/20/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
D, E, F,
Did You Ever Think When The Hearse Goes By
Didja ever think when the hearse goes by,
That you might be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
And drop you down about six feet deep,
Where all goes well for about a week,
Until your insides begin to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
It looks just like green saurkraut.
You spread it on a piece of bread
And that's what you eat when you are dead!
(One version of many.)
- Akiba; 9/12/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
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Everybody's Doing It
Did anyone else sing my childhood favourite:
Everybody's doing it
Picking their nose and chewing it
Thinking that it's ice cream but it's not.
(The last two words should be slurred: it'ssssnot)
-Marion; 6/8/2000;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=299;
Naughty kids' greatest hits II
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Dream Lover
Dream Lover
where are you?
Upstairs on the toilet stool.
What you doin way up there?
Washin' out my underwear?
How you get it so clean?
With a bottle of listerine.
I'm gonna walk
talk
sing
shout.
I wanna dream lover
so I won't have to dream alone.
-Azizi; memory of childhood; Atlantic City, New Jersey, 1960;
posted 10/22/2008
Editor:
This song is a parody of the Rock & Roll song "Dream Lover" that was recorded in
1960 by Bobby Darin
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Driving Down The Highway {Supersonic Fart}
Driving down the highway doing 77 Someone blew a big one and blew himself to
heaven The car couldn't take it, the engine fell apart All because of someone's
(insert persons name)Supersonic fart Fee-fi-fo-fum here comes another one
two-four-six-eight everyone evacuate.
-Kazoo; 6/19/1998;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
G, H, I,
Great Green Globs {Version #2}
another disgusting favorite
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey's meat,
Vomit fresh right off the street
One quart pint of anti-purpose, porpoise puss
Floating in my lemonade
(spoken)
And me without a spoon!
bon apetit
-judy; 10/18/1997; halloween songs,10/22/2008
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3113#1826622
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Great Green Globs {Version #1}
from the mid 70's in maryland....
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat, tiny birdies stinky feet,
French fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood,
And me with out my spoon!
(big barbershop finish)
but not my straaawwww!
-Guest Keltik, 12/6/2001;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=41824#1401090; Nasty Nursery
Rhymes
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Hasten Jason
Hasten Jason
Bring the basin,
Oops, slop, bring the mop,
Alas, alack it's all in vain
The dog has licked it up again.
...I learned this in Grade 1, almost 50 years ago and have, unfortunately, never
forgotten it, so I guess I must have been a naughty kid.
-Metchosin; 4/7/2000;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=299; Naughty kids' greatest hits
II
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How Dry I Am
When I was a kid we sang:
How dry I am,
How wet I'll be
If I don't find
The bathroom key
Now here's the key
But where's the door?
Aw, oops, too late
It's on the floor
It was even more fun as a chorus.
-rabbitrunning; 9/5/2000;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=299; Naughty kids' greatest hits
II
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I'm Bringing Home A Baby Bumblebee
I can't believe no one's entered this one yet, but do y'all remember
Bringing Home A Baby Bumblebee, complete with hand motions?
I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee.
Ouch! It stung me!
I'm smashing up my baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm smashing up my baby bumblebee.
Ooh, what a mess!
I'm licking up my baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm licking up my baby bumblebee.
Ooh, I feel sick.
I'm puking up my baby bumblebee.
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
'Cause I'm puking up my baby bumblebee.
Ahhh, I feel better.
This can go on indefinitely, depending on how long is left in recess, and how
inventive the singer is.
-Catfeet; 9/26/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
Editor:
I've heard this song sung with the first line "I caught me a baby bumblebee". Do
you know this song? Send in your version!
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I'm Looking Over My Dead Dog Rover
To the obvious tune:
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
Who lies on the basement floor
One leg is missing, the other is gone
One leg is lying all over the lawn
No use explaining the one remaining
It flew through the kitchen door
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
Who lies on the basement floor
-SDShad; 4/7/2000;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=299; Naughty kids' greatest hits
II
Editor:
This is a parody of the song "I'm Looking Over A Four Leaf Clover". See Cocojams'
Children's Parodies page for more songs that are "take-offs" of other songs.
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I'm Popeye The Sailor Man {Version #3}
I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a garbage can,
I eat all the worms and spit out the germs,
I'm Popeye the sailor man.
....
Believe me,at ten years old this stuff was hillarious!
Dharmabum {Ron}; 6/9/2000;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=299; Naughty kids' greatest hits
II
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I'm Popeye The Sailor Man {Version #2}
I got into big trouble when I was in primary school for singing:
I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a caravan,
there's a hole in the middle
where I do my piddle, I'm ...
Probably the first bawdy ballad that I ever sang.
Regards,
-John in Brisbane; 2/22/1999; Lyrics for Popeye the
Sailor
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I'm Popeye The Sailor
Man {Version #1}
I think the rest of the verse I heard kids sing years ago went:
I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I eat all the worms
And throw up the germs
I'm Popeye the sailor man.
-Bob Biderman; 2/16/1999; Lyrics for Popeye the Sailor
Incy Wincy Spider
incy wincy spider climbed up the water spout
i turned on the tap and washed that spider out
but that dumb spider climbed up the spout again
so i squished the dumb spider blimey what a pain.
-Guest chunkey {alex}; 1/7/2005;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2998;
Naughty kids' greatest hits II
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In Days Of Old
{Version #1}
In days of old
when knights were bold and toilets weren't invented
they lay their load by the side of the road
And went along contented
-a favorite of my late, great grandpa
- Annabelle; 6/8/2000;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2998; Naughty kids' greatest hits
II
J, K, L,
Jingle Bells Batman Smells {Version #3}
New Zealand, around 1979...
Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin ran away
Wonder Woman lost her bosom
On the motorway - Hey!
-Uke; 10/24/2005;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=41750#603629;
Jingle Bells,
Batman Smells
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Jingle Bells Batman Smells {Version #2}
Getting back to Batman, my son contributed a verse:
Batman's in the kitchen,
Robin's in the hall,
The Joker's in the bathroom,
Peeing on the wall.
He's 19 now, but this is what he remembers from his misspent youth.
- Leeder; 12/22/2001;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=41750#603629 ; Jingle Bells,
Batman Smells
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Jingle Bells Batman Smells {Version #1}
Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg,
Batmobile lost a wheel
Got too fat to sit on a toilet
That's how my son sings it. I think he tends to mumble the last line.
-sophocleese ; 12/4/2001;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=41750#603629 ; Jingle Bells,
Batman Smells
Editor:
Visit Cocojams' Children's Parody Rhymes page for more examples of "Jingle
Bells, Batman Smells"
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Jose Can You See
Jose, can you see, any bedbugs on me?
If you do, take a few, they look better on you
-Earl; 9/12/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
Editor:
This verse is also a parody. Do you know which song it parodies?
M, N, O,
Mary Had A Steamboat
Here's a naughty song to the tune of "Goodnight Ladies"
Mary had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell
The steamboat went to heaven and Mary went to
Hello operator give me number nine
If they do not answer please refund my dime
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies
If you get hit with a bucket of ___* be sure to shut your eyes
There are more verses.
-Earl; 9/12/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
Editor:
*I left this word out for the sake of Cocojams' younger readers. See Cocojams'
Handclap & Jump Rope Rhyme page for other examples of Miss Susie {Mary, Lucy,
etc} Had A Steamboat
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McDonald's Is Your Kind Of Place {Version #1}
McDonald's is your kind of place
They serve you rattlesnakes
Put french fries up your nose
and hamburgers between your toes
Last time that I was there
We had to eat my underwear
McDonald's is your family place to go!
-Alice Cascorbi; 9/15/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
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Milk Milk Lemonade {Version #1}
...the earliest naughty song I can remember was a ditty that we recited as we
pointed to appropriate body parts
"milk, milk, lemonade, 'round the corner fudge is made".
It was 1954, I was five and I thought God would strike me dead...
-bassen; 2/20/1999;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=299; Naughty kids' greatest hits
II
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My Body Has Tuberculosis
Tune "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" My body has tuberculosis Yes TB has rotted
my lungs. I cough up blood by the buckets It dries and they sell it for gum.
(chorus) Dentine, Dentine, Never chew Dentine again, again Dentine, Dentine,
Never chew Dentine again.
-Nathan; 9/12/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
Editor:
Don't forget to visit Cocojams' Children's Parodies page for more examples of
parodies of other songs.
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Nobody Likes Me {Version #2}
Title unknown but I always knew it as
I'm going down the garden to eat worms
Author unknown
This is a song I heard 40 years ago and have to sadly say its stuck
I really must get a life
Never wrote it down or had a recording so it really is just as I remember it
Nobody likes me everybody hates me
I'm going down the garden to eat worms
Long thin slimy ones slip down easily
Short fat fuzzy ones stick
Short fat fuzzy ones stick in your teeth
And the juice goes slurpppppppp
Bite of their heads and suck out the juice
And throw the skins away
nobody knows how I survive
On a hundred worms a day
Yum yum
-Guest, The Fantum;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=5414 ;Worms (Eat Some Worms)
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Nobody Likes Me {Version #1}
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I'm goin' to eat some worms.
Long thin slimy ones, short, fat, juicy ones
I'm goin'to eat some worms.
Down goes the first one, down goes the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.
Long thin slimy ones, short, fat juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm,
Long thin slimy ones, short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.
-Alice; 9/19/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
P, Q, R,
Rinky Tinky Tinky
rinky tinky tinky
my doggys done a stinky
right behind the kitchen door
and he said to the cat
what do you think of that?
and if you like it
i'll do a little bit more!
-Guest chunkey; 1/7/2005;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=299;
Naughty kids' greatest hits II
S, T, U, V
Shaving Cream
My fifth grade son told me this one:
(one of many verses)
We gave a peach to baby Margaret
We thought she swallowed the pit
But when we looked in the bucket
We saw a big pile of
ssshhhaving cream, shaving cream
-Alice in Montana; 9/19/1997;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2794&messages=114
Naughty kids' greatest hits
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The Worms Crawl In {Version #4}
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out" has lots of variants--I've even
heard it with ants instead of worms. My favorite is the pinochle one that Judy
mentioned [Editor: See version # 2]. When I learned this as a child, the
version went
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
In your stomach and out your snout,
Except for one that's very shy:
In your ear and out your eye.
Later in the song (most of which I've forgotten) we sang to the tune of the
funeral march from Chopin's sonata in B-flat,
Pray for the dead and the dead will pray for you,
Simply because they have nothing else to do.
-Jerry Friedman; 10/20/1997; 10/22/2008; halloween songs
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3113#1826622
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The Worms Crawl In {Version #3}
What is the name of the tune? (It's the theme from Alfred Hitchcock Presents,
but that led to a DEAD end!) A true folk song, I remember the lyrics this way:
Did you ever see a hearse go by, and think that you were the next to die? They
wrap you up in a clean white sheet and lower you down about six feet deep, The
worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinocle on your snout, They
eat your eyes, they eat your nose, they eat the goo between your toes, You
stomach turns to slimy green, and puss pours out like pure whipped cream, You
sop it up on a piece of bread, and that's what you eat when you're dead!
-Guest Earth Mother; 11/11/2000;
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3436; The worms crawl in...tune
Editor:
Harold W., another poster to that discussion thread, indicated that the tune
that was used for this rhyme is "Funeral March of a Marionette" written by
Charles Gounod. Another poster Guest arbey wrote "the tune, as I know it, is a
combination of "The Teddy Bears Picnic" and "Funeral March" by Fredrick Chopin,
an odd sort of amalgamation".
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The Worms Crawl In {Version #2}
I know a different "worms" one. I'm sure it will ring a bell with many of
you. ...I learned [it] in fourth or fifth grade at camp or on the
playground
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the goo between your toes
Your stomach turns a slimy green
And puss comes out like shaving cream
You slap it between two pieces of bread
And that's what you'll eat when you are dead!
-judy; 10/18/1997; halloween songs
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3113#1826622
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The Worms Crawl In {Version #1}
The little ditty that the Pogues sing, not mentioned in the liner notes of
their CD, is quite appropriate for Halloween.
The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out
The ones that crawl in
Are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out
Are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in
And your teeth fall out
Your brains come tumbling
Down your snout
Be merry, my friends, be merry!
-Tim J; 10/18/1997; halloween songs
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3113#1826622
W, X, Y, Z
click here to submit examples, comments
and/or questions to Cocojams about Children's Gross Out Rhymes & Songs.
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